On Epics: The Story Of Shalyce & Boji

Shalyce and I met when we were in the first grade. She is two days older than me. We used to fight about whose dog was the stronger species during recess. I reasoned that naturally my dog was better because we saved sweet Sumi, as we named her, from Taiwan: My pet was international damnit! She had HUGE glasses, and I had to wear dresses to school as punishment for behaving badly at home.
"Why are you wearing a tie with your dress?"
"Umm, my mom made me."
(in reality, I liked the tie because I thought it gave my dress a real 'don't mess with me, I'm a CEO' type vibe.)


Then came band. She was best the drummer that Franklin ever had. After failing miserably with both the clarinet and the flute, I took up the French horn and never relinquished my position as 'first chair' once. editor's note: yes, I wore ties to school and played the french horn. Soon I was playing the "Star Spangled Banner" on my french horn with Shalyce on the snare drum every Wednesday for the school flag raising. I felt so cool. We wore red vests and black pants. We were so cool.


Shalyce and I went to different junior high schools, but later in highschool I found dear, sweet, blunt, amazingly musical Shalyce again. She was a huge germaphobe, and I blew my nose on my shirt if ever I couldn't find a tissue. Chanel and I would follow her after lunch to her fourth-hour class and throw ice at her. We played Hillary Duff and Fefe Dobson covers in her garage. (I actually just watched- the french horn doesn't have much place in a rock band.) She made a fake backstage pass once and snuck into Hillary Duff's dressing room, basically. She can quote you any "Even Stevens" episode that you want.

A few years ago I walked into an internet cafe in Barcelona. I opened an email and read about Shalyce and Nick's wedding. I was sad because I wasn't there, but happy because I love Nick and Shalyce together. Nick has a dog named Moose, and Moose loves Shalyce.

It's Shalyce's birthday today and I imagine that she is going to want to play a never ending game of Settlers of Cataan. That is why I love her. Happy Birthday boo.